What on earth is this?



OH so cold!


Wow! Wow, wow!  arriving in England was a shock, it was cold.  I had to wear many clothes, and these big boots and woolly socks.  The lady they called my mother, she brought me all these silly warm clothes.  I hated England, I hated her, I hated the cold!  She made me change into all these clothes before stepping outside the airport.  This just added to my sadness.  I wanted to wear the clothes my father bought me;  but I knew that this lady was not someone I could play with.  I found this out quickly because  as I stepped off the plane I saw the little boy that I came on the fligh with and as children do, I ran towards him to say goodbye; After all so far he was my only Friend.

Well that didn’t go well, I was given a smack across the head from the lady they called my mother. She shouted at me and said “you love too much boys”.  I didn’t understand, but I knew I would not let her see me cry.  I won’t, I will not, the stubborn character was back. Although I was embarassed  I waved to my only friend and went off with the lady they called my mother.

I remember, that, I didn’t want to hold her hand, I didn’t like her at all. She scared me and I wanted my father back.  😭

We drove from the airport in silence, though I cannot recall how we reached home, whether it was by  car or train. I remember the ice on the ground and the crunching sound under my feet, as I walked. I almost slipped but I steadied myself because I didn’t want the lady they called my mother to see. It was a long  walk to the apartment and my fingers  felt funny. They were now hurting so I put them in my pocket. That didn’t help though, and my feet were cold too.  When I breathed out smoke came out my mouth and nose. It was strange, i recall everywhere was white. I was walking on ice, I recalled thinking why are we walking on ice. Where was the grass? I also remember as cold as it was the world looked beautiful. My face must have shown some expression as i looked around. The lady they called my mother said. “This is what we call  S.n.o.w”. I did not reply.

We arrived at her apartment and she put the keys in the door.  When I looked inside children of different ages lined the stairs as if they were aware of my arrival.  I couldn’t smile especially as my ears were still stinging from the smack.  Then she spoke, the lady they called my mother.  She said “this is my daughter, “she is so bad” .  Well, this comment made be sad yet another reason not to like her. I remembered my father  clearly and how he  only ever showed me love, but sadly he was gone.  The lady they called my mother took me inside  her apartment. It was like a prison, gone was the field I played in with my siblings, gone was my grandmas burnt chocolate drink, the chickens in the yard, the sunshine, everything that was dear to me, my little heart was breaking. For me this was the loneliest place in the world for a child of six years and five month old.  I recall I cried silently, because I didn’t want the lady they called my mother to see, and I fell asleep.  Tomorrow tomorrow,  I love you tomorrow you are always a day away …..maybe tomorrow would be better in England hey!

what do you think?



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3 Responses to What on earth is this?

  1. Riruro says:

    I can’t breathe…At this moment, the same way I can’t see God but I know I love him.. . I can’t see your mother but bwoy, I don’t like her 😦 I just want to snatch you away. I want to take this WHOLE blog to a courtroom and insist all counsels and jurors read ad demand justice, demand the right to turn back time and take you to your Fathers arms to dance with him again. I almost feel jealous that he loved you in a way my dad did not.
    I want to stop reading, enough is enough..but I just need to get to something happy…anything 😦 Why so much abuse in this world? and from the ones we are supposed to trust 1st after God, why? 😦
    Psalm 55 International Children’s Bible (ICB)… Taken from the childs’ version for the child locked inside Beverly

    A Prayer About a False Friend (false love of a false parent)

    55 God, listen to my prayer.
    Do not ignore my prayer.
    2 Pay attention to me and answer me.
    I am troubled and upset
    3 by what the enemy says
    and how the wicked look at me.
    They bring troubles down on me.
    In anger they attack me.
    4 I am frightened inside.
    The terror of death has attacked me.
    5 I am scared and shaking.
    Terror grips me.
    6 I said, “I wish I had wings like a dove.
    Then I would fly away and rest.
    7 I would wander far away. (back home to my daddy in Jamaica)
    I would stay in the desert. Selah
    8 I would hurry to my place of escape,
    far away from the wind and storm.” (I’d even go to grandmas house across the graveyard)
    9 Lord, destroy and confuse their words.
    I see violence and fighting in the city.
    10 Day and night they are all around its walls.
    Evil and trouble are everywhere inside.
    11 Destruction is everywhere in the city.
    Trouble and lying never leave its streets. (typical England)
    12 It was not an enemy insulting me.
    I could stand that.
    It was not someone who hated me.
    I could hide from him.
    13 But it is you, a person like me.
    You were my companion and good friend.(my mother, my blood, my protector)


  2. T says:

    gosh, your last few posts have me in tears, I can see it as if I was there. I hope this story gets happier.

    Liked by 1 person

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