The gypsy woman.

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At the age of ten years old.

Mummy and I went to shepherds bush market, it was a busy market where they sold clothes and antique ornaments, and all sorts for sale.

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Mummy was a keen dressmaker making items for her church sisters.  So off we went to buy material.  It was a long walk and she would talk to people she met, she would stop in various shops with me tagging behind.  I was hungry and tired but couldn’t complain.

I would walk far behind as I didn’t want anyone to know she was my mummy.

When we eventually arrived at the materials shop and she went inside. She told me stay right there; with that look that meant no matter what you do not move.

So I did…

I stood at the spot  rigidly rooted and watching children playing and laughing with their mums and I  so wished it was me.  I saw a little girl by the toy stand directly in front of me..  “Mine” she said.

I watched as her mum took up the beautiful doll,  and paid for it, the little girl held it tightly to her neck and hugged the Dolly while mum smiled.  I felt my stomach turn but I thought it was hunger.

It really wasn’t, it was “jealousy”   Not for  the dolly, I was used to not having toys,  and not for the mummy, I  was used to not having a mummy.  No, I was jealous because she had a sister.

“Stop walking off!  her mum shouted.

As  another little girl joined the family, yes they were sisters in my mind as they wore matching clothes.

I then looked to my left, and right there beside me was a woman, she was dressed in many clothes and had lots of chains around her neck, she was large built and cuddly looking.  I noticed there was a long queue and as mummy was busy chatting, I didn’t think she would notice, if I took a peak..


I heard  the lady speak, in a husky but becoming voice. I know know she was a gypsy.

“Cross my palm with silver” she said.

She was randomly talking to the crowd as they passed.

Interesting!  I saw people  both men and women  eagerly giving her money then she would talk.  I was curious, she was talking about the future.

Most importantly, I thought she could tell me about my beloved father.

“Will I see him again”

“Will I get way from mummy”  I thought.

“Will the beatings stop.

I was extremely curious.

I joined the queue, as I got closer in the line, I was hoping mummy wouldn’t return.

When it was my turn, I excitedly took out my 50p, and placed the silver coin in her hand.  I’m not sure where the money came from, but I recall specifically that the 50p was in my pocket.

She took my hand…then she said. I was nervous, but as a child I didn’t know what to expect.

“Ooh!  She said.  ” you are  going to have lots of children”

then she held my hand tightly and said.

“” Aaaah, “SOMEONE HAS PUT A CURSE ON YOU, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY”.

I pulled my hand away quickly before she said anymore.  I didn’t want to hear anything else.  I was scared. I quickly left and went back to my spot outside the shop door. It was NOT the answers I wanted.  That day I was told more than I expected.  She didn’t tell me about mummy, or my father, but she made me feel worse.

I knew I couldn’t tell mummy.  In any case I had learnt not to tell mummy anything as I was wrong to wander, I was wrong to pay money to read my fortune.  As a child these words had a profound effect on my life, and  instead of  shaking it off whenever I had a problem throughout my life I remember the gypsy woman. Those words would continue to haunt me for a very long time.

In particular, what if I was cursed after all, why was I so unhappy, lonely, why was I abused.  And worst of all Why was I born?

The gypsy lady must be telling the truth.  I thought;  otherwise why would she tell a young child that?

Proverbs 18:21New International Version (NIV)

21 The tongue has the power of life and death…..

That’s it I was cursed…I needed to find a way to fix this…..

 

 

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