The pleated skirt..

How can I call her mummy, when she doesn’t try to love me?

One day the lady they called my mother, whom I still found hard to call mummy, told me to iron some clothes, both mines and hers. I was doing ok  until I came to a pleated skirt. I  tried and tried to get those pleats in but I didn’t know how.  Every time I ironed she would crumple it back up and made me do it all over again. I ironed for the whole day  and each time I would either get a slap or the clothes would be crumpled and thrown at me.  I was eight years old  but I was not allowed to sit down until the ironing was to her standard. This was because my little hands could not pleat the skirt the way she wanted it. imageI had no food and I was tired, but I carried on and each time she would crumple it and let me start again. Late in the evening she was visited by one of her close Friend.  Miss Myrtle.  She was a very large lady with very big bosoms, she had a kind face.  She sat on the bed and after a long while of me standing she  said to her ” sister B, no! she is tired, let the Pickney go to bed” and she took the iron from me. I fell asleep immediately hungry and tired. I must say I’m now an expert at pleating skirts.

Funny how we can become so good at something we have done for a long time.

That was just one of my punishment, I was never treated as a child from the moment I stepped off the aeroplane. Life was sad and miserable. There were no birthdays or Christmas presents. My life reflected souly on the bible, I had to read a psalms every night without fail. Despite this God was always someone I looked up to. Although I was still too young to understand about God, when I read the bible stories I wanted him to save me. I was always very intrigued by the bible and god. I could loose myself in the bible, a way of taking refuge during the sad times.

I remember one night she left me alone and went out. I was so scared so I took all her bibles, and there were many in the house and made a cross and slept inside the cross on the bed. For some reasons I felt her God would protect me, as the bible stories made him out to be really nice. It appears that she was pleased I did that, as I heard her tell a friend. “Wow”, I finally did something good. But I still hated calling her mummy. But that soon changed…

 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to The pleated skirt..

  1. T says:

    I have been reading your posts out of order, after reading some of your later stories and now coming to this one from the beginning I realize that even though your mum was not very nice, she did somehow manage to put you in the position that you had to read the bible which I think is probably the only way you were able to endure all you went through. I love the part where you say even though you were to young to understand God you felt as if you wanted him to save you. you also say you were intrigued and you could lose yourself in the bible that it was your way of taking refuge. Though you say you did not understand and in your young mind I am sure you didn’t, but in a way its like you did because without knowing you still ran to God, and he was protecting you by holding you in his arms being your place of refuge, this makes me think of this verse from Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. God was there with you the whole time. I know these post must have been very hard to write, they were very hard for me to read because it hurts my heart that someone could be so cruel to a little girl. I had a hard life but nothing even close to what you have went through. you are a very good writer too, I feel as if I am sitting right there in the middle of it all when I read these, have you ever thought of writing a book?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Beverley says:

      Terri, I am so sorry, I have just seen this. WordPress is still pending I’m not sure why. Terri, believe this when I say, you have given me the encouragement, especially after reading your blog. I do believe NOW. That God was always there, and yes you are right I am glad my mum gave me that spiritual grounding. I wasn’t keen on church because of the abuse, but I did like reading the bible stories. I am greatful to her for that. Thank you again for reading my posts, yes they are painful to write but it’s been 42 years of hell. It’s been hidden for two long. A book. That is funny, I’m not brave enough to put myself out there yet.

      Like

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