As I write my testimony, many different thoughts come to my mind, it’s like I am at a crossroad of memories and experience and feelings. Memories that had been suppressed are resurfacing.
I had buried these memories in a box under the sea. As time moved on some memories have escape into my mind. This is because of the strong current and storms at sea. My box at the bottom of the sea, although laying on the sea bed, remained unsecured for a long time.
I know this because, I know what memories were in there, but whenever I had a new crisis, the box would send another memory signal to me, they would attach themselves to whatever pain, trauma, or upset I was facing.
This left me weakened and unable to cope with my situations.
It was as if each past memory needed energy to breathe, it felt as if the older memories would join the new, sending me into a downhill spiral of depression. Although, I did somehow managed to claw myself back to the surface each time.
As I journey through this testimony, I am now not afraid, and I welcome them, those memories in my box at the bottom of the sea. I now feel that God is saying to me. Give me the glory and write. In a strange sort of way. I feel I am being guided by him, This is because some memories that are being shown to me now, were those I thought I had left behind.
I believe that it’s time for me to pull on all those vocabulary that I taught myself over the years. Today one of those vocabulary..
“FEAR“. pop in to mind, there were many of those, and it’s like they are saying choose me choose me. There are many memories that are still with me. Fear, conjures up images of the abuse.
There are many chapters to this testimony, and as I journey through my blog. the most painful memories surface, just because I include them later, this doesn’t mean these memories are less important. It’s because I was not ready at the time. I do not crave sympathy at all though sympathy would have been needed all my life.
As I continue to write, new post will become available and will just be slotted into my timeline.